For me I do the following to maintain preference:
- Camera Distance set to very low
- Terrain Size sliders set very low
- use fog to mask hidden terrain and camera distance falloff
- I use HIGH or MEDIUM for grass shader quality (never HIGHEST).
- I use static trees more than animated trees
- I keep bloom settings very low
- I avoid lightrays on complex maps
- I try to use similar models on my maps to reduce draw calls ( (i.e. same rocks different rotations and scale)
- spread out your enemy characters and dont use too many per map
- I rarely ever use models that use texture sizes more than 1024x1024
- like mentioned above, i use "alwaysactive = 1" sparingly (i.e. a door should never use alwaysactive)
- terrain areas the player cannot see are flat
The only engines that typically do the optimization for you, are map editors for existing games. But even with their restrictions and limitations per map, people who have no concept of optimizing may still experience lag/performance issues. So its really all about understanding what each aspect of whats in your map is doing in relationship to memory consumption.