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lordjulian
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Posted: 21st Jun 2017 12:19
I've been to hell and back going through a rehab process for alcoholism. Since then I have been really struggling to get back into my game making work - which has been my passion for many years. Before starting m rehab I was in the thick of it, using Smile Game Builder (while I wait for GameGuru to come to fruition) to make an RPG. My binder full of flowcharts, diagrams, character outlines and story lines has lain untouched for months. The motivation seems have left me. I am scared the spark has died. Now I just tinker with GameGuru, making structures in the EBE for no reason other than therapy. This is 180 degress from what I expected from giving up booze.
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3com
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Posted: 21st Jun 2017 17:34
I only drink alcohol in a family party or relevant date, for that reason it is difficult to say what you should do, it is difficult to comment on the other side.
I believe that motivation should be in oneself, GG as other motivations can be a way to get it, family, friends, environment, can help, but the true motivation must reside in yourself, you must be your true motivation to to get it.
Something such as: I'm going to get it because I need it, because I want to do other things, because I want to avoid the problems it causes me, because it's killing me inside and out, because I do not want to continue like this, The time to leave it, and that's it. ihmo.

If you are talking about the problem, it means that you want to solve it, that is a good start, so go ahead with it!!

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smallg
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Posted: 22nd Jun 2017 17:29
Hope you're feeling better though

Perhaps it just needs more time to feel normal?
Maybe just aim smaller to start with rather than trying to create a full game, do something small and fun.
Like recreating artwork in game form or making a funny cut scene without the need to fit it into an entire game... Depending on your style certain things will seem more appealing.

Finding the energy to make games is something we all struggle with, I'm sure its temporary but certainly having the right tools is crucial, stick with the parts you find fun / interesting and the rest will come on its own once more.
Don't force it, the worst thing you can do is get stuck in a game / idea that you lose interest in.
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Wolf
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Posted: 22nd Jun 2017 20:23 Edited at: 22nd Jun 2017 20:24
As someone who was once in the habit of frequent drinking too, I can relate. Alcohol is one of the most destructive drugs out there and due to how available and socially accepted it is (even unavoidable in some cultures...like mine) the addiction creeps up on you and is hard to snuff out later on.
The withdrawal will also have a long term effect on your physical abilities to experience motivation and joy simply because you are now somewhat depleted from poisoning yourself for so long and you have to regenerate. Depending on your age this is a process that can easily take you a couple months. There are supplements that help, but especially a decent diet works magic here. What I'm getting at is: take your time.
I've seen this blog which perfectly illustrates that you can indeed have an unhealthy approach to game making too. Its not supposed to be this weird obsession as illustrated here.

There are several factors here.
One being that, as smallG said, we all struggle to maintain the motivation to keep working on our projects. I'm on a creative break as well. Don't perceive it as a job. Don't force it. Its okay to have weeks where you don't do anything... I do that frequently and then I have days where I put in some time daily.

The other being that its summer, a time where the game dev crowd routinely grows thinner and people are more outgoing and more inactive. I tend to spend my evenings more hangin' around, having long conversations with loved ones out the door or taking walks than work on anything creative.

Quote: "My binder full of flowcharts, diagrams, character outlines and story lines has lain untouched for months."


This implies a giant project and a huge mental construct to me.
I've been there when I was younger. Browsing through my old work on several plattforms I have to cringe at the scope of all these things I wanted to make. Planning on making a project that presumably takes 2 years to complete requires an iron will and discipline most of us, including myself, just don't have when it comes to our hobbys. You have to analyze your current abilities and then see what you can do in a forseeable timespan.
Those big RPG's do always look so incredible in our minds eyes and later so disappointing on our screens. Some folks nail it though, like this little RPG from a single german developer. It has such entertaining gameplay, an engaging story and likeable characters that I was able to completely overlook how primitive it was visually.
Personally I try to make small projects that I find statisfactory. Its a weird art form and artists always struggle with their art. I also paint thus know this very well. Here is a short video by David Lynch on being an artist in our time.
Just do it when you enjoy it. If not, don't.

...and lay off the bottle, your frickin' boozebag



-Wolf
granada
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Posted: 22nd Jun 2017 23:20
The body and mind have to adjust.what seems important when you are drunk no longer seem important when sober.if you realy want to do it you will find a way.remember it has to be fun to work,just start by making silly games with stock assets and go from there.(just my thoughts I am not a doctor ) I wish you well.

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lordjulian
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Posted: 25th Jun 2017 20:30 Edited at: 25th Jun 2017 20:31
Quote: "lay off the bottle, your frickin' boozebag"

LOL!
Firstly, sorry for the delay - I forgot my Steam password and the forum wanted me to login again.

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. I think you're right. I need to scale it all down to something small and fun until I'm to get back into my main project. I will probably create a very simple and small game in GG (which is more relaxing than Smile Game Builder). My main project is just too daunting right now. My body and mind are probably still reeling from the massive changes that have taken place.

Again, thanks so much for the advice and good wishes.
Julian - increasingly disillusioned and jaded
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unfamillia
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Posted: 26th Jun 2017 13:08 Edited at: 4th Jul 2017 16:56
I love these forums, so damn much!

So many understanding and non judgmental people! Love it!

LordJulian, I wish you the best for the future, good sir. I know you will get through the stagnant period, that you currently find yourself in. As others have said before me, both your physical and mental states will need to re calibrate and will come back to the correct alignment in time.

While you feel like you are lacking motivation, spend time doing things non-development related; take yourself back to your roots! You weren't born a game developer, you played games when you were younger and that (more than likely) planted the development seed deep within you. Spend some time to play some games, you will find your inspiration once more!

I wish you a speedy recovery

Cheers

Jay.

Belidos
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Posted: 26th Jun 2017 15:38 Edited at: 26th Jun 2017 15:43
I know exactly how you feel.

I had a wee drinky problem for a long time toward the end of my time in the army, it had gotten so bad i was having nightly drinking competitions using 90% proof Brandy. I got the kick in the butt that i needed when i collapsed with kidney failure, i was told by the doctor i had to stop drinking i would die.

I won't lie, when i tried to give up it as hard, it was painful, and the craving was hell, but i got through it, over twenty years dry now, and very glad i got through it.

I was left with some side effects, my short term memory is trashed, and i have some trouble concentrating, diagnosed as minor ADD, and because the only way i could combat my concentration issues at the time to strictly order everything i do, i got so used to doing that i developed mild OCPD, and boy when these three things clash do i get one heck of a headache, i regularly make a list, get halfway through it, wander off to do something else, then forget i'd ever even written a list, LOL.

Anyway, i digress, one of the things i found shortly after quitting, was the lack of motivation, i just really couldn't be bothered to do anything at all, even getting out of bed was a chore for me. It takes a while to get back on track, you aren't on a high anymore so everything seems boring and pointless, but you do get over it, i found that if i strictly scheduled my days, and made myself stick to that schedule, with plenty of downtime between tasks it became easier with each day, i also found that bringing new stimulus into my life really helped too, pick up a new hobby, something you've always wanted to do that you haven't gotten around to, mine was painting warhammer models, which really helped because the fine detail painting helped me concentrate, schedule a couple of hours a week specifically for that hobby.

It will take a few months, but it does get easier, life will never be perfect, drinking too much will always stay with you, and effect your life, but you can limit its effects.

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granada
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Posted: 26th Jun 2017 18:26
Quote: "I had a wee drinky problem for a long time toward the end of my time in the army"


Snap,a result of overseas allowance being seperated from the wife in England and paying no food or acomation I had money to spare and the naffe was cheap.i never gave it up but vowed to drink only beer when I came home . And still only drink beer.gone are the Jd and brandy days .

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Belidos
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Posted: 26th Jun 2017 18:52
It's pretty common in the army, especially when stationed overseas for extended periods.

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Wolf
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Posted: 27th Jun 2017 13:30
Hard hitting story, Belidos!

Quote: "it had gotten so bad i was having nightly drinking competitions using 90% proof Brandy."


Yeah, that'll damn well do it.

I wrote down how I fell through those cracks here but decided to remove it as the full story would require me to mention some personal things I don't want to have publicly on the internet like that. Kudos to those who shared though! Suffice it to say that its over. ....and I only wrote back because of this...one...burning...question

....

Quote: "painting warhammer models,"


...

What army did you have?



-Wolf
Belidos
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Posted: 27th Jun 2017 13:45 Edited at: 27th Jun 2017 13:49
Quote: "What army did you have?"


I didn't, i wasn't into the whole warhammer games, just needed something fiddly to paint to help concentration. I had all sorts of models, mostly 40k stuff, marines, chaos marines, genestealers, eldar/dark eldar, etc. My favourite to paint were the Imperial Army models.

I had a good few hundred models that i had painted, but they all had to go when i moved. I was also very much into the novels, my favourites were anything with Blood Angels in, and anything featuring Gaunts Ghosts.

Also, for five years i ran a very large guild on Dark Age of Camelot called Imperial Fist

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Posted: 30th Jun 2017 09:43 Edited at: 30th Jun 2017 09:44
I must admit, I never got into tabletop games myself. The rules, the stats, ...some of the people that would play. The only one I played somewhat regularly with my elder brother and a good friend way back was Talisman.

I did have some warhammer figurines but also just to paint them. Mostly a lizardmen army. I also had some from other systems such as "The dark eye". The last ones I had where from the Lord of the Rings tabletop. I've also sold all of them eventually...gotten a pretty penny too.

Quote: "I was also very much into the novels"


Absolutely! Although nowadays I read only one or two works of fiction per year.



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Teabone
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Posted: 3rd Jul 2017 21:32 Edited at: 3rd Jul 2017 21:33
Starting getting some motivation back today. Only problem now is I've very limited in the scripting knowledge and my project idea is quite ambitious but potentially do-able; with some assistance.
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lordjulian
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Posted: 16th Jul 2017 12:20
Quote: "Only problem now is I've very limited in the scripting knowledge and my project idea is quite ambitious but potentially do-able; with some assistance."


@Teabone, I think this is one reason why I was struggling to get back into my work. Like Wolf and others pointed out, my main project was too intimidating at this time. You might want to consider at least chunking it down into bite-size bits if possible or doing something less daunting for a while.

For me the solution was to do a super basic project. Thanks to all the good advice and support above I decided to start work on what is probably the most basic game I could think of - a 2D platformer! And I am using very easy software: Platfinity.

I have to thank everyone for supporting and sharing. I needed a little push. Now I've got the fire in my belly again (not indigestion from too many vodka shots!) and enjoying it a great deal. Slowly working up from the shallow end, I will return to my GameGuru work in due course.
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lordjulian
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Posted: 16th Jul 2017 12:25 Edited at: 16th Jul 2017 12:26
Here's a screenshot:
Julian - increasingly disillusioned and jaded

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granada
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Posted: 16th Jul 2017 15:15
Happy to see you back at it,good luck .

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lordjulian
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Posted: 16th Jul 2017 20:25
Thanks, Dave!
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Wolf
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Posted: 25th Jul 2017 00:56
Doesn't look half bad! Be sure to link it if you release something playable.
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Posted: 25th Jul 2017 13:25
Eh lordjulian this look really cool, and you are again in the path. Keep up!!

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Honkeyboy
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Posted: 25th Jul 2017 23:36
I dont have a drink problem = drink a shed load fall asleep = no problem LJ m8 its kinda about perseption i think if you arnt enjoying it dont do it dude! anyways if you need a hand with any of your projects m8 just PM me im kinda at a loose end atm till the new updates are done, just playing games with the daughter etc and testing a few bits in GG from time to time. If you need anything that i can help with just shout dude
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Posted: 5th Aug 2017 17:15
unfamillia wrote: "I love these forums, so damn much! So many understanding and non judgmental people! Love it! "


As I was reading through this thread, tears welled up in my eyes. I am a strong Christian believer and too many times a Christian will be way too judgemental. That should never be the "Christian" approach. We should have compassion and the desire to help. However, I really can't add anything that has already been said and it looks like you're on your way. All I can do is say, "Go, man, go!" lordjulian, as 3Com has said looks really cool. I'm not sure what the screenshot represents but that doesn't mean anything since it is easy to confuse this 70 year old dementia plagued old fat man. What it looks like is a scrolling platform game. Is that what it is? If so, I was wondering if one could make such an animal using GG.

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lordjulian
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 10:08 Edited at: 9th Aug 2017 10:10
Hey, guys. Thanks again for all the encouragement. I am almost back to full capacity. Currently working on Level 10 of my Platfinity game. Here is Level 9 (the difficulty is rather high:
Julian - increasingly disillusioned and jaded
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lordjulian
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 10:18 Edited at: 9th Aug 2017 10:21
A bit of Level 8. Same music but I intend to have a different tune for each level when I get some GarageBand time. Futuristic sci-fi wheelchairs because I want one (I am disabled):
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lordjulian
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 10:22
So it just goes to show, sometimes when you think all hope is fading that's when you can come back with a vengeance!
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granada
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 15:24
Looks good,nice to see your at the keyboard again .

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lordjulian
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 22:40 Edited at: 9th Aug 2017 22:49
Honkeyboy - thanks for the offer, very kind.

Flantlander - yes it is a platformer but the software only allows very limited scrolling. So you set an end point for the player to progress to the next level. As for GG, I think one or two users have managed to create platformers using GG. I don't know how. I noticed this today: https://forum.game-guru.com/thread/218444#msg2584284

Granada (dave), thanks mate.

If anyone is interested, the software I am using is Platfinity. Available on Steam, it is incredibly easy and fun to use but it is rather limited - basically your games involve your player character getting from point A to point B and if he hits a hazard he goes back to the last checkpoint. There is no combat, collectables or anything. It's still in development.
Julian - increasingly disillusioned and jaded
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granada
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 22:48
Quote: "If anyone is interested, the software I am using is Platfinity. Available on Steam, it is incredibly easy and fun to use but it is rather limited - basically your games involve your player character getting from point A to point B and if he hits a hazard he goes back to the last checkpoint. There is no combat, collectables or anything. It's still in development."


Sounds to me it's just what you needed to get you interested again

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lordjulian
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Posted: 9th Aug 2017 22:52
Indeed. I really needed something fun and super easy. Once you grab onto that bottom rung again it's amazing how the momentum builds but the ladder had to be really easy to grasp.
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Belidos
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Posted: 30th Aug 2017 10:28
A while ago i watched a video of a lecture given by Andrew Price (the face of Blender Guru) at a Blender seminar, entitled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Artists", he gave some great motivational advice for artists that can be used in most industries where "art" is involved, including modelling and game making, here's a brief outline of the 7 points:

1) Daily work
Getting started in a project is the hardest part. Try to do something at least once a day, even if its only drawing a line, you will find that you cant stop there and end up doing a lot more.

2) Volume, not perfection
Try to avoid getting into the trap of perfecting everything, you end up frustrated and stuck on one piece, do a lot of work to a good standard, then go back and tweak later.

3) Steal
Well, not exactly steal, but take inspiration from others, and lots of it. To copy one persons work is plagiarism, but to create a piece of art that combines inspiration from lots of people is originality.

4) Conscious learning
We've all heard of the phrase "practice makes perfect" right? Forget it, it's rubbish, it's been proven that doing the same thing over and over may help improve your work a little, but ultimately all it will do is help you draw that face or model that house exactly the same over and over, you won't gain progression and will end up stuck in a rut, always try to learn something new, watch videos on YouTube, look things up on the internet, you will be surprised at how much you can learn about a subject you thought you already knew.

5) Rest
Ever been stuck on a project, unable to progress, then given up and ended up having a great idea in the shower? That's what this means. If you spend 4hrs on a project without a break, you get an hour maybe two of actual productivity, but if you spend 4hrs on a project with short break every hour you end up with 4hours of productivity.

6) Feedback
Don't be afraid of asking other people "is this any good?", take criticism from people good or bad, and don't get upset about the bad. Some of the worlds top artists got to the top because they weren't afraid to ask the question "am i any good?". Pixar have a room in which they have a monthly get together of the whole production team. Everyone from junior artists right up to the executives gets together and criticizes each others work, and that's why they make such good movies. You can't improve if you don't know where you are going wrong.

7) Create what you love
Art isn't about mass producing what other people want, art is about creating what you want to create, create what you know about and love, it's far easier to make a model of something you are interested in than it is to force yourself to model something you hate.


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