Well I can tell you what I do with the helicopters if that helps.
1) I work out a point some distance ahead of where the heli is currently going and check whether any other heil or the terrain at that point is inside a sphere of a certain radius of that point. If it is I adjust the direction of the helicopter appropriately to try and avoid that point.
2) Next do a similar thing with a closer point but the adjustment made is greater.
3) Do a similar thing but with the point that the heli will be in next frame, this represents an actual collision that is going to happen, in this case the adjustment is severe enough to hopefully avoid the collision but makes the movement more jerky.
One problem I have with this method is that if helicopters approach each other on almost parallel trajectories they don'y 'see' each other until the last moment and then they start a weird jerky dance in mid air!
The Bullet physics engine could be used for this sort of thing and I was hoping that as part of the supposed AI improvements Lee would provide a mechanism for us to use the full power of it but that hasn't happened.
If you watch the AI characters they don't avoid each other either, or other moving objects for that matter, they just react to the collision when it happens which makes them look really stupid!
Been there, done that, got all the T-Shirts!